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PRETTY UGLY: SANDRA BERNHARD’S I’M STILL HERE ... DAMN IT!

She likes to wear high heels by Manolo Blahnik or Robert Clergerie. She once wrote admiringly of the beautiful bulge of her own calf. She once said of her face that it is sensual and sexual and also “just damned frightening.” She used to perform a cover of Paul Simon’s “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.” She says that she has had to leave many people behind. She once remarked of herself that she rarely feels vulnerable because there is “not time for weakness in life.” She says she believes there is not time enough for vengeance either. She claims that she learned this from studying the mystical cabala. From Dorothy Parker she learned that life will come up with fancier revenges for one’s enemies than one ever could: “Make a bowl of popcorn,” she says, “sit back, and enjoy the show.”

Sandra Bernhard inhabits an array of often contradictory voices and stances. If she seldom settles for long in

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